Just to even the score

Ok, so to even the score, I now have this classified ad to post:

For sale or trade:

Woman--very opinionated, very vocal, can get emotional at the drop of a dime (sometimes to her frustration), gets cranky when awakened early (from night of sleep or nap), doesn't refill ice trays, hates taking out garbage and vacuuming, is picky about how laundry is done, is addicted to her iPhone, gets awful headaches, wants things done her way, is stubborn, will argue (and win), can be aggressive and competitive (about insane things). She also loves reading, loves gardening, loves couponing, loves getting things for free (even when she doesn't need them) or for cheap (only things her household will use), loves bargain shopping but has expensive tastes, would always prefer to be barefoot or wearing flip flops, knows that business attire is not her thing, has a lot on her "want to do" list but rarely gets any of it accomplished, and has a deep deep deep love for her family. Please know that if you insult her or her beloveds, she will chew you to pieces in a split second.

Ok, let the comments begin...