Monday, April 12, 2010

Who are you? Who is he/she?

I am not sure where I am headed with this. There, you were warned.

I think we have all been there. Someone mentions something that a friend, family member, co-worker, etc said or did and it just leaves you wondering if you heard them correctly. You might wonder if the two (or more) of you are talking about the same person. Heck, you might even ask that exact question.

How many identities do you have? I like to think I only have one identity. Whether you run in to me at work, home, the store, or at a garage will get the same person. I am WYSIWIG--what you see is what you get! I don't do well with censoring myself or living behind facades. If you don't believe me, just ask my husband, mom, dad, brother...I could go on with that list. I am blunt, I will tell you what I do/don't want, and I will stand up for those not standing up for themselves. Most times, I couldn't NOT be this way even if you paid me. Its just who I am.

Who are you? Do you have different versions of yourself depending on who you are with or where you are? If you asked 10 people in your life to describe you, would they come up with a similar list of traits?

I know that there are some people who can turn on/off their multiple selves depending one who is looking, listening, etc. I am sure that there are times that this ability is a great asset. I am also pretty sure it sends their friends in circles trying to figure out who the real (insert name here) is...

When I hear about someone's son/daughter being arrested and charged with a violent crime, I wonder if they knew thier son/daughter was capable of committing that crime. Most times, you will see a quote that "thats not who my son/daughter is" and usually its followed with "my son/daughter is not capable of doing that". Yet, it seems that the evidence usually leads to a different conclusion and that son/daughter was very capable of doing that. I don't think its uncommon at this point for the parents to start blaming the influence of friends, spouse, or whoever else they can for what their child has done. I have portrayed this on a larger scale, but really this runs true within friendships and families all the time. We want to blame anyone but our child for the way he/she is behaving. It seems this is an easier route than just accepting that he/she has flaws and that those flaws sometimes cause pain.

What about you? Do you let everyone see who you really are? Do you accept your friends, family, and co-workers for who they really are? If you are a parent of a child young or old, do you accept them for who they are or do you blame thier negative traits on the influence of others? Have you told your child(ren) that you love them for all of who they are...not just for the good stuff? Have you allowed them to relax and be themselves around you?

I think my paretns learned early on that I was going to be outspoken, sassy, and argumentative. If they had any doubts, I erased them during my teen years. Through it all, my parents taught me to use my traits to the best of my ability. I try. I might be outspoken to a fault at times, but I sure as heck will be there standing up for others when they won't stand up for themselves. Every once in a while, my sassiness gives me and my husband a good laugh...but there are times when it also brings the opposite emotions. I try. For what its worth, I think we all try. Some of us need to try harder. Be yourself. Accept others for who they are. Accept that we are all flawed. Accept that sometimes friends, family members, or co-workers are going to make our eyes nearly fall out of our heads with disbelief...and at the end of the day accept that you just learned something new about that person (versus about their friends, family, etc).

For what its worth...I read something that inspired this post. So, if you think I am pointing a finger at you...I am not deliberately doing it. However, if you feel there is a finger pointing at you, then I hope you will sit down and think about that...

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