Saturday, July 10, 2010

Fiber (and the aftermath)

Here is your warning:  If you don't want to read about an experience with Kale and poop...stop reading NOW!

You were warned. 

Yesterday, my husband went to the grocery store to buy a few items.  He picked up some mini shredded wheat cereal for himself.  No problem there.  If he wants to eat mini shredded FIBER cereal, then he can take care of any digestive issues he might experience. 

This morning, I woke up before both my husband and son.  Shocker, I know!  I snuck out of the house for some Saturday morning sanity (garage sale shopping).  When I talked to them a little later in the morning, I found out that BOTH of them had enjoyed quite a few mini shredded wheats.  A comment was shared that the little guy would probably give us one good package later today.  Wonderful.  Given that he has successfully gone poop in the potty for us a whole ONCE, well...each time he decides he needs to poop is a struggle for everyone involved. 

I arrived home after naptime had been conquered and my husband swiftly left to go work out at the gym.  His final words to me included:  "He has only been asleep for 45 minutes."  I quietly hauled my loot into the garage and slipped into the hear a whailing boy.  Great.  Short nap.  Ok, fine. 

Where does the poop story start...oh...about....right HERE!  After he had been up for about 10 minutes, I noticed he had a bloated belly about the same time he started announcing that he needed to poop.  Up on the potty, nothing, down off the potty, put on underwear, I need to potty, back up on the potty, nothing, get down off the potty.  Granted, all of this happened in about 90 seconds and I never left the side of the bathtub.  He ran to his room because he wanted a pull up and because I am a sucky parent, I let him.  Mistake.  Sucky parents always pay.  About a foot from the bathroom door, it hit him.  It didn't hit him like a little poke in the belly.  Oh no.  This was a 326lb linebacker just rolled through his belly.  Plop, Plop, Plop and a whailing kid later...well, I had a heck of a mess to clean up.  I was smart about it though...I picked him up and set him on the potty in case there was more where that came from.  Nope, just a sprinkler hose that nailed the side of my leg and then my hand with pee as I shielded it down into the toilet.  Are we done yet?  Nope. 

I cleaned up the boy and cleaned up the mess.  I sanitized the floor, rug, toilet seat, and my hands/leg.  By then, he had decided to put on a pull up.  Don't be surprised that he once again started announcing that he needed to poop.  Lovely.  I tell him to go sit on the potty.  I follow him in there.  He stands right in front of the potty and whammo...right into his pull up.  I didn't even have the chance to put him up on the potty.  Ugh.  He was crying and I wanted to cry and was already silently cursing my husband. 

I think we are done.  I may pelt my husband with mini shredded wheat when he gets home.  And now I know what to feed my kid if he ever gets constipated.  Fun, fun times!

1 comment:

Bag Lady said...

Oh. My. God. I can totally picture that happening. Too awful! Awfully funny, too. :)