Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Something or Someone has to give (soon)

Something has to give.  Or someone has to give.  Or maybe its a little of both?  I need more quality sleep and not to wake up in a pee smelling bed most every morning lately. 

We have two (bottle and co-sleeping) struggles at night in our house.  Kale still gets bottles at night to go to sleep.  He gave up the paci on his own at 4 months.  He is not slowly edging toward 3 and still hooked on the bottle because it became his "comfort thing".  He wakes up in the night, comes to join us in our bed, and asks demands more milk.  What happens next is where things go south.  Either I trudge out of bed and get him more milk or he throws a "hell hath no fury like a toddler told no" fit.  A kicking, screaming, flopping 2 year old at 1am--I don't think there is even a adequate word for it.  On a good night, one dose of milk will get us to the morning hours when its time to wake up. On not so good nights, somebody (usually me) is bouncing off walls to the kitchen and back 2-3 times.  The reward?  Usually we have a wet bed by morning on those not so good nights.  I can't really blame the pull up for letting us down in that situation.  In the middle of the night, neither one of us seems to have the energy (willpower?) to try to take him back to his bed and make him stay there. 

Last night, I gave something new a try.  I was flying by the seat of my pants with it.  Kale came to our bed and asked for milk.  I got him the milk.  An hour later, he woke up and asked for more milk.  I refused.  Holy fit.  My husband's back took a beating (sorry babe!) because he was on the foot end of Kale.  I had the flopping and whailing head.  Yet, I refused him.  Finally, I told Kale that if he wanted milk, he had to go back to his bed to drink it.  By golly, it worked.  Sort of.  He went and got into his bed and I delivered his milk.  He thin stayed there until a little before 6am.  He crawled into our bed and asked for milk.  Before I could refuse him, he was snoring.  He woke up around 7am, told me he was wet but not to touch him.  Ok.  He zonked back out.  Yes, I let him lay there asleep in his pee.  Do I win the mommy of the day award?  I got up and took a shower and fully expected a wet and irritable boy to greet me before I was done showering.  Nope.  I got dressed and still he slept.  I was putting away clothes in his room when he finally go out of our bed and meandered in.  His first comment was not about being wet, but was right on cue for the first thing he asks me most mornings: where's daddy?  I reminded him that daddy had already gone to work.  Then, just as casually as ever, he tells me he is wet.  Oh, to be two. 

I don't know all the answers and I don't even know if I have really found a new method to this crazy madness of our night life.  But something has got to give.  The bottle has to go.  The sleeping half the night in his bed, half the night in our bed needs to change too. 

I am open to suggestions....


Michelle @ Flying Giggles said...

Both are very hard to break, but not impossible...good luck!

Texas Gal said...

I think that every parent goes through a similar situation, at least all the parents I know have. It is just a matter of whether you allow the event to take place for one night, or months worth until you break it.

We had already spent the training for going to bed in their own beds, but they later started waking up for more drink, want to sleep with us, or need food. For what it is worth, here is what we did (with both kids):

- they wake up and enter our room. I am a light sleeper so I am awake the second they turn the handle.
- I say, go back to bed loudly and stearnly.
- They cry, protest, come over to me, grab on, whatever that night holds.
- I say again, go back to bed. Then I roll over and ignore - and actually yes, so tired, I actually fall back asleep while they are carrying on.
- They eventually go back to bed.

They may try this the next night, but neither one did it 3 nights in a row. And in fact we never had it again.

The other alternative (and what we did to teach them bedtime means go to sleep) was say go back to bed - if they don't, they are punished. No yelling. When you put them back in bed, you tell them that if they get out of bed again, they will be punished again. Then do it. Again, just 2 nights of this and bedtime was no longer a long drawn out process. They stay in bed until they fall asleep. And now they don't even get up in the middle of the night.

As for the wet bed....that is simple. If you are going to allow the bottle still, set an alarm. When it goes off, no more drinks after that time. He can drink ALL HE WANTS until then, but no more after. Then pee and off to bed at the regular bed time with one more trip to the potty right before sleep time. As long as there isn't something medical with the bedwetting, that will be over.

Hang in there - this too shall pass. But it may take a few more sleepless nights - but they are worth it!! Hope something in here helps. ; )

- cherish

Amy said...

Not sure if he's old enough to understand it, but it works with Ivie (when we enforce it)... We tell her that if she comes out of her room, we're going to lock her door (we've got the door handle turned around so the lock is on the outside). And we do.

As far as the drinking goes, since we've transitioned to real underwear (instead of pull-ups), we put a sippy cup with a LITTLE bit of water in it on her headboard shelf. If she wakes up thirsty, she can drink it. But we don't refill it during the night. What's in there is all she gets.

You'll have some screaming fits that you'll have to wait out, for sure. Eventually he'll get tired and go back to bed. And soon he won't even try to open the door (so you will be able to stop locking it). You just have to be tough and wait it out, no matter how crazy it will make you to listen to it. As long as you keep letting him in your bed, he's going to keep coming. Who wouldn't prefer to snuggle with Mommy and Daddy?!?

Love ya! Hang in there!