All this time, I have wondered why people spend soooo much money spiffing up thier bathrooms. Now I know. Its because when you have a potty training toddler, you practically LIVE in the freaking bathroom. Ugh.
On Sunday, I spent the majority of my day in the bathroom with Kale. Ok, really, it was only four or so hours. You spend that many hours in the bathroom waiting for someone else to do thier business....it will quickly feel like all day. Trust me. He needed to poop. Four hours after his his first announcement that he needed to poop and about 87 trips to the bathroom later, he did finally manage to land the poop in the potty. And oh did I cheer. Oh how his daddy cheered. We are still cheering!
In the meantime, our smart child figured out yet another ploy to get our attention. For all our differences, there is one thing that my husband and I hate: cleaning up poop from places it should not be.....such as in underwear, floors, carpet, or just about anywhere other than in the toilet. For the record, I do not enjoy cleaning up poop in the toilet either. Pretty sure my husband would raise his hand right here and say, me neither! So back to our smart son. Anytime he so much as utters the word poop, most everything stops and whoever is closest to him makes a mad run to the bathroom in the effort to get him in there, get his pants down, and get him on the potty BEFORE any poop appears.
Our son a quick study. Oh look, mommy is at the computer. Mommy, I need to poop. And like magic, the computer is left in the dust and he gets mommy's attention. Oh look, daddy is watching someone play with a ball of some sort on tv. Daddy, I need to poop. Look at daddy bolt from his chair like someone announced they are giving away free cold beer and its in the bathroom.
Just like any other marketing ploy, our son apparently comes with fine print. If you lift him up and turn him over enough times, you will find that somewhere on his body is some fine print that says: Just because I announce that I need to poop does not mean that I will poop right now and in reality, I might not even poop today at all.
We are suckers and we buy into the marketing ploy every single time in fear of the one time that we don't buy in, one of us will be left cleaning up poop in the hallway, carpet, and underwear. Most trips to the bathroom include him actually getting on the potty. Some times, it would have been easier for him just to say: I want your attention and there is no need to try to get me to pull down my pants right now because nothing is happening in that department right now.
This is one of those which is worse situations. This is NOT one of the things people tell you about BEFORE you have kids. In fact, its not one of the things anyone tells you about ANYTIME regarding kids...they just leave it out there to be sprung on you like a well planned surprise party. Only there is no cake, balloons, or fun times at this party. There is only lots of frustration and laughing at yourself when you realize that you just celebrated the fact that your child pooped.
So, for now, if you need us....look in our hallway bathroom. When we are home, one of us is usually losing feeling in our backside as we sit on the side of the but and coach our son.