Thursday, September 25, 2008

Where is the pause button?

Ok, Help! I need a pause button. I have decided that a pause button is the only way this is going to work for me. So, tell me, where is the pause button on my it in his belly button?

To say I am a little overwhelmed with the thought of leaving Kale is an understatement. I have to leave him for 12 entire whole days. My mom assured me he would be fine, to which I replied that I know he will be fine. My mom assured me that he won't forget me, to which I replied I know he won't forget me. Actually, I am really not worried about him because I know he will be in good, capable, and loving hands while I am gone. I am worried about ME! Agggcchkkk. 12 days without his loving...12 days without hearing him slap, slap, slap down the hall as he crawls....12 days without playing peak-a-boo. I better stop before my tears catch up with me. So, yeah, I need a pause button. I mean, he can continue to eat, sleep, pee, poop, and such....but he just can't do anything cute or new or amazing...ok, that is selfish of me...I know. BUT I DON'T WANT TO MISS ANYTHING!!!!

I have 11 days to figure this out....and pack and everything else (like go get my passport out of the safety deposit box)....but all I can think about is missing him. Ep has sooooo taken a back seat! Sorry babe! Ep never understood why I would end up crying when I would call home to talk to him. Usually, I limited myself to three calls when I was to say I got there, one in the middle of the trip, and one to say I am coming home...see you soon! I kind of rationed myself with those phone calls. I got my dose of Ep's voice and hearing him say that he loved me. And email helps too, but only when you actually have internet access. I am thinking there may be a few more phone calls this time. I have to download Skype on our home computer and buy us new speakers and see if our computer has a built in speaker. THEN I have to teach my husband and mom how to use Skype. (meanwhile, my father in law will want to know what the he** is Skype?) LOL! I won't go into explaining it....but its only a valuable tool if you are going to need to talk to someone can google it if you want....

Anyway, Ep used to tell me..."Marcia, you are in Europe...enjoy it!". THEN I took him to Europe with me. AND I took him to France...not Albania, Armenia, or Kosovo....yet France was enough for him to finally understand. Ep eats at McDonalds about five times a year...and only then its out of convenience. When in France, Ep learned about creature comforts and missing things that you didn't even know you could miss. Ep started craving McDonalds because it was the closest thing to anything American we could find in France. We ate McDonalds one day in Paris. Then we had to go to this little town in the middle of nowhere France. Ep was at the hotel and hungry--he could have ate at the hotel, but oh no...he walked 3/4 of a mile ONE WAY in the POURING RAIN to order two big macs, fries, and a Super Size Diet Coke....and then walked 3/4 mile back in the POURING RAIN. Ask him about it...he will STILL tell you how good it tasted and that it was sooooo worth it. That was 2 1/1 years ago. After that...he completely understood when I would tell him I missed him and wanted to come home. So, my theory is...if I missed him and my creature comforts that bad before...what will it be like NOW? I will be missing both Ep and Kale....and I have grown accumstomed to not seeing Ep for a week or two at at time (not saying I deal with it well, but I do cope with it)....but I have only been away from Kale for 3 days since he was born....11 months ago. AGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

Ok, I gotta stop now on that.

Moving on...I just want to give props to my husband. You have done something this week that just amazes me and I am really proud of you for your words and actions. Thank you for being willing to "stretch" and be used in the ways God needs to use you.

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