Ok, as all kids do, I swore that I would never be like either of my parents. I have since decided that there are several of their qualities that I am ok with having inherited or learned or adapted along the way.
However, I couldn't help but laugh at myself today. My brother called me. I missed his call (big surprise, as I never seem to know when my phone is ringing lately--thanks iphone!). I called him back and left a message. He returned my call and we chatted for about 2 minutes until he said that he just wanted me to know why he had called but that he had to get back to work. We hung up, and the realization hit me. When my brother goes "back to work", he is wearing a gun and driving/riding in a car with lights and sirens. Wow. This STILL shocks me. It may just be one of those things that my brain refused to believe until I see it in person.
So, you are wondering, how does that connect me to my mom. This is how...just last night she was talking about being in Walmart and him coming to meet her there--in uniform. As she walked along calling him sweetie and honey, she said she had to stop and apologize to him. I guess she realized the uniform wearing strap of a man beside her may not want the whole world to know that he is still her little boy (sweetie, honey, etc). Yet, while mom told the story, you could still see it in her eyes and in her expression...she is still trying to grasp the fact that he is a police officer. It has nothing to do with his ability to be an officer and everything to do with the fact that he is a grown man and no longer just her little boy.
So, lets go back to me hanging up the phone with my brother...as the picture came to my mind of what it "looked" like for him to go back to work, I nearly laughed out loud. He is soooo no longer the little boy playing baseball, riding bikes, and watching Sesame Street. He is Officer George. That realization struck me hard. It makes me grin and want to cry all at once. There was a time when I thought he was MY little boy. Being 8 years older than your brother tends to bring forth the mothering instinct in little girls...and boy was mine ever in full blown gear. So...I too have the hard task of trying to make my brain grasp that he is grown up enough to be a police officer.
I should note....none of this has anything to do with his ability to be a police officer...we fully believe in him. He is happier than he has been in a long time, which is obvious to everyone around him. He is living his dream, and as much as it scares us...we are elated for him.
And on another note. I completely failed to sprinkle my brother with magic dust that keeps little boys from growing up into a strapping big man...which reminds me...I need to go home and sprinkle my little boy with it because I surely don't think I could cope with my little boy turning into a man.... (hey, leave me alone and let me live in my little state of denial...)