Monday, July 27, 2009


Friday went well. Kale wasn't happy to be dropped off at school, but the crying stopped before I left the room. After dropping him off, I went to the hospital (ACH). I was following my heart. Through the amazing way God works, I had found out about a family that just hit home for me. You can read about baby Jonah's story here:

On Thursday, I found out about Jonah and his family through a friend on facebook. I asked if they were at ACH and reminded the friend that Kale was a heart patient there. I was immediately linked to Jonah's mom. I called her that day. She invited me to come see them. I went on Friday morning.

I could tell, as I talked to Jonah's mom, that God intended for me to be exactly where I was at that moment. I can't even put it all into words, and if I could, it would sound so sappy and insane that I might get myself committed. Jonah was born with a misshaped heart and another heart problem that ended up saving his life. His case is nothing like Kale's. Yet, I connected with Jonah's mom. I know what it is to feel like you should have paid more attention in those science classes and learn more about the heart in hours than you learned in all your previous years. I know what it is to want to hold your baby and not be able to do that. I know what it is to just want to hold your baby for the first time and not be able to do that either. I know how that breaks your heart. I know the anger that lingers and the guilt that come with it. I know the desire to want to ask why and blame someone, anyone...and not be sure if you should. I know the desire to not want to hear anymore bad news. I know what it is like to look at your husband and be simply amazed at his strength, even as he sits in the waiting room snoring. I know what it is to set up camp in the waiting room because the idea of leaving for one second outside the hospital feels like that might just be the moment that the devil will walk in and wreak havoc on your little boy. I just know...

And I know this as well. If feels beyond words to be able to take all of that and hug someone and assure them that you really do KNOW. It feels good to tell them some of the positives which you never expected to get out of such an unplanned or unthinkable journey. It feels really good to help them start finding the positives and letting them know its ok not to understand everything right now. It just felt beyond emotions and beyond words. I will never do it justice. Thank you God for allowing me the chance to really reach out and make something positive out of such a hard experience. I can't be thanikful enough for that. I am sorry for what Jonah and his family have experienced, but I am thankful that God has allowed me to be a part of thier experience.

As for my little boy. You should have seen his grin when he came running to me at the door of his classroom. Everyone is right, that will NEVER get old! He immediately hugged me and laid his head upon my shoulder. He kept it there until we got to the truck. It was incredibly sweet and incredibly rare because he usually will not stay still for that length of time.

It was a normal day, yet it also seemed pretty perfect.

No comments: