Here is your warning. Worry, but don't worry. And as another disclaimer, nobody is sick or dying and nobody cheated on anyone else. Our family needs your prayers right now. We need prayers that we will make the right decisions and that we have the courage to face things that aren't fun or easy. Really, thats all I feel comfortable saying about it right now.
I know you want to know more and that your first inclination might be to call us and ask what is going on, so please let me tell you what is going on. Life. That right, life is going on. We will talk/share when we are good and ready...and that might just possibly be never.
Here is what you can do to help. Pray for us. Take that ball of worry that is in the pit of your stomach or your heart, wad it up into a nice ball or make a paper airplane with it...and send it on up to God in a prayer. I am asking you to give your worry about us to God and asking that while you are giving it to Him, that you ask for some guidance and strength for us as well.
While I am at it, let me tell you that God is here. He is here with us in this struggle. In one moment this morning, we both were able to see that.
My anger that flares in these types of situations? I don't know where it is. Maybe, for once, my anger realizes that it doesn't have a fighting chance in this situation or maybe my anger has been scared into hiding. I really don't know. There are still lots of conversations to be had. Lots of patience to find. Lots of understanding, forgiveness, and coping to do. And maybe in the meantime, my anger decided that it was all just too much work and that it was time to just take a vacation.
Our normal coping mechanisms won't work in our current situation. Maybe that should be cause enough to panic, but instead maybe we can view it as an opportunity for change. Maybe we can mend some other fences along the way. Maybe we can find a place that has eluded us. Oh, and just maybe, maybe, maybe...God has finally found a way make us stand up and take note that our independent, stubborn, prideful, and sometimes self-centered behaviors have no place in our marriage. Maybe instead of talking about being a team, we can truly start acting and performing like one.
In the middle of a situation where I could throw up my hands and ask, WHAT HOPE? I choose to have hope anyway. I choose to reach out and ask for prayer. I choose to practice what I preach. I choose to keep looking for God, even in the most frustrating and hurtful situations. I choose for us to take the hard road because its going to lead us to where we want to go. I choose not to take the easy road simply because I KNOW it does not lead to the place where we want to be. I choose to acknowledge that the road ahead in this situation will have bumps and that those bumps might jar us a little. I choose to view it all with my eyes wide open. I choose to remember to be thankful for my blessings, especially the one that tells me to "gets up mommy".
Again, the best thing you can do for us right now is to say a prayer. And for the worriers in the group (I know of at least 2)...remember, that worry won't fix any of this or make it better. Take that energy and do something positive with it.....like pray!