Its late. Well, not really, but for our house--its late. Which is just one more supporting thing towards where I am going with this post. If I ever get there, anyway.
The other night, after putting Kale to bed and watching him sleep a few minutes, I crawled out of his bed. I always use my phone to add a little light to the room so I don't kill myself navigating out of his bed and towards the door. I used the light of my phone to shine on him and the thought hit me...how in the world did I suddenly become the mom of a 2 year old? Since then, the question has kind of hung with me. I have tossed it around a bit. Here is the result.
Let me pause here to say: I know that without any of Kale's drama, the time would have still flown and I might still be asking myself how I so suddenly became the mom of a 2 year old. I know that I will blink and he will be 4...9...14...16...and so on. I get that. What I am talking about is a little different.
Four years ago, I knew who I loved and wanted to marry (ok, I knew a long time before then). My point is...four years ago, I wasn't a wife and I wasn't a mother. I wanted to be both. Given a liberal definition, some would say I had already been both. But, by my definition, I had truly been neither. I had just been practicing. :)
I remember the shocking bigness of becoming a wife. By the time I truly had achieved the title, I had been called his wife so many times by strangers that I lost count (and it no longer shocked me) and even a few times by him (all which somehow shocked me). I guess the shocking bigness of it all was that I was finally LEGIT!
I knew that it was in our plan to purposely try to become a family of three sooner versus later. After a little bit of fun, a quiet then all too dramatic pregnancy, and the roller coaster entry--we had our little boy. And bammo, I became a mom. I guess all that practicing was a good thing, because I didn't have long to adjust before testing out my mom-stincts (mom insticts).
In all the drama that unfolded around our son, the day to day living got somewhat lost. Its a blur. I can't and don't care to put my finger on that moment in time when I went from living in a constant state of "anxious and worried mom" to just living the normal "I will always have a little bit of worry for him" type of mom life. I can tell you this, it wasn't before he was 18 months old.
Now, if you have ever been around a child between the ages of 18 months and who knows hold old...then you know that they never stop. In fact, when Kale stops...we worry because it usually means he is getting sick. So, there are some days that I feel like I went from baby in my belly to running toddler in a nanosecond. I know that there were fun times in between because I have a some memories, photos, and videos to prove it.
There are times when we will see a small baby and Ep will ask if Kale was ever that small. I always look at him like he is crazy when he ask this because usually the baby in question is several months old and weighs in the double digits. Then I remind him that yes, Kale was that small once (like when he was several months older than said child) and A WHOLE HECK OF A LOT SMALLER when he was born. So, I don't think I am the only one in this house who wonders how we so quickly became the parents of a two year old.
Yet, this is our reality. He is two years old. And we are his parents. He is ours. He is sooooo ours! He says things like sotion (lotion) and matata head (potato head) and strings entire sentences together that leave us wondering what the heck he just said and shaking our heads and laughing because we know we are in for it when all his words are coherent and understandable. He wakes us up on Saturday morning to the tune of "Kale pee Mommy Daddy bed". He asks his daddy to PLAY THOMAS! every 30 minutes. He tells us he wants a hair cut. He delays going to sleep by going through a roll call of everyone he knows. When he sees a picture, he often knows where it was taken (mommy car, uncle brian house, Papaw tractee).
There are many days that its easy to *almost* forget that Kale's heart could go crazy at any moment (thank you WPW) or that we keep an epi-pen with us at all times (thank you egg allergy). Its become a lot easier to get lost in the day to day routines and everyday living.
I know I am not the first parent nor the last parent to say this. Wow, where did the time go...it sure flies...how did he get this big. I am just saying...when you hold your breath for the first 18 months then it apparently flies even faster. And when one day you wake up (or rather, nearly fall asleep with) a two year old...it can be stunning.